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Friday, July 16, 2010

Friday Confessional... via Glamazon.



The meme for today's confessional is WORST.DATE.EVER.

I think I was the mistress of the worst date, there are a good number i could think of
but to be honest it's just embarrassing...truly excruciating and humiliating. 
Oh yeah... that pretty much sums me up so why would my dating life be
any different????

There were the pity dates, ones where some random guy would ask me 
out and I felt obliged to say yes 'cos i hate rejection myself. I was not too good
at thinking up excuses either, maybe if I had come clean and said I'd rather
stick hot needles in my own hemorrhoids i'd have saved a lot of  heartbreak.

There were dates where I was completely infatuated and acted like a total 
bimbo, stuttering, making up lies to impress, falling over and laughing
like a deranged donkey. That's what happens when you are so in awe
of the Greek God accompanying you on a night out. 

I think the very worst date ever was one Christmas, i had gone out with this poor guy we'll 
call Poor Guy.  I had had a couple of dates with him during a break with a long term 
on-again off-again asshole we'll call Spike. 
I asked Poor Guy if he wanted to come to our company Christmas dinner
and dance... of course he accepted 'cos he was happy to have such a 
nice gal like me to go out with and loved the thought of  a formal 
night out with dinner and dancing to a lovely band... I think??
The evening started perfectly well, however, when we sat down to dinner
my lovely black, velvet dress with a gorgeous kinda upside down 
tulip hemline split completely up the front as I plonked myself down at
the table!!!! Shit!!! so I pushed my chair up to the table and breathed in 
so that no one would see what a freakin' disaster I looked. 
So after the meal I kinda hobbled to the dance holding the front of my
dress closed and sat at a table the whole night not getting up once.
Then we left and the plan was to head to a local club, luckily it was a
small town and i lived almost between the first venue and the night
club, so I popped home and changed into something less unfortunate.

Once in the club, I relaxed and enjoyed the company of Poor Guy who showed
me a lot of attention and bought me lots of drinks, we actually had a good time.
Then Spike showed up and also showed a lot of attention, telling me how
great I looked and how he wanted me back and was sorry for all the 
assholey things he'd done. I left with Spike, and didn't even let Poor 
Guy know i was leaving, the memory is hazy but i may have sent one 
of my friends to deliver the news to Poor Guy. 

The next time I say Poor Guy he told me what a weak, coward I was and 
that he was disgusted with me. 
Yep, he was right!!! sorry Poor Guy!!! 

Go check out Glamazon and her stories... she's great!!!! 
Happy Friday y'all. 


(totally off topic, it's amazing how my site hits sky rocketed the day after
I lost my job??? just sayin').

6 comments:

Char said...

oh no...ouch!

mama-face said...

Does Poor Guy have a blog? This was probably his worst date. Way to be honest-and very funny. :)

Whatever happened to Spike?

Megan said...

look at the bright side...at least you had dates that could go wrong. it's been a year since i've had a date.

Brian Miller said...

ouch. poor poor guy...

McGillicutty said...

Mama-face... I sure hope PG doesn't have a blog cos I'd hate to read his version of that night! and Spike..what a loser... he crawled back under the stone from whence he came never to be seen again! blecchhh.

Megan... sometimes it's better not to have dates.

Char & Brian... I know.. really..not proud but strangely liberated now it's off my chest.

Glamazon said...

Dress malfunctions are the worst! And I love this story, because not only was it YOUR worst date, it was also someone else's, I'm sure I was someone's worst date, too :)