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Thursday, February 11, 2010

It's not easy being fabulous....

OK... like the new colors??? is this easier on the eyes??? hope so.

Now then down to business... how freakin' hard is it to be beautiful in this day and age? There are so many unbelievable things we females, and actually males, have to do to be presentable... even in the areas we never present.
Take the toes for example.. they're locked away in socks, shoes and boots all winter, however, if you happen to be single and have a "sleep over" with a new bloke, or even an old bloke, you want your tootsies to look their alluring best.  If you happen to live in an unpredictable climate like I do there may be the odd occasion mid winter when you are forced to wear flip flops and the whole county will see your toe nails.
Hair... I mean c'mon people.. wtf.. we have to pay a million bucks a cut and color and then it grows out!! then just before the next appointment... lo and behold it's lookin' great again... then you go get it cut anyway 'cos it's time... and it stinks for three weeks 'til it gets all happy with itself again.
Then there's make up... my God almighty... I will not be seen outside of my own four walls without makeup.. no it's just not happening... I hate myself without a slathering of at least two inches of makeup. But once again there's a problem... we have lived in this neighborhood for five years.. yes five glorious years... we love the people around us and they love us (I assume/hope) but after five years of the same neighbors there comes a time when they will just knock on your door and ask a random question. So this leads to the morning ritual of getting up an hour earlier to make sure you're showered and dressed before anyone in their right mind would even think of popping over to borrow a bowl of sugar.
I'd love to cover the intracases (i think thats a word) of hair removal.... but I just don't have time and honestly I'm not the best one to comment..... I'm actually very fair haired and this means I can get away with not shaving for a long. long, long ass time. I'm experimenting at the moment with my legs. I last  shaved on Christmas Eve, I know this because the in laws were on their way and I managed to hack off most of the lower part of my left calf with the razor.... yep... scene from Dexter is all I could think of. So I applied and reapplied band aids....again and again until the blood spatter analyst gave the all clear for me to face company.  So I haven't shaved since, and with the cold weather we've been experiencing my woollie legs have been under cover and so no one gives a shit... now my woollie legs are not like your woollie legs.. they are a lot less hairier than the average five year old.  I'll let you know when I do actually decide to shave again, it's like going for some kind of world record.
So my dears, my conclusion is this... if we were meant to look as fabby as we think we're supposed to look we'd have one of two things... a shorter work week... so we can take care of business or more hours in the freakin' day so we can still work, take care of our families and look like a mill bucks while we're doing it.

11 comments:

xoxoKrysten said...

I totally agree with you lady! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Fidgeting Gidget said...

I just wrote a post a couple days ago about my struggles with being fabulous, specifically the blunder that occurred when I decided it would be a wise idea to have my upper lip threaded. NEVER AGAIN.

tori said...

I wish I could get away with not shaving that long!

blueviolet said...

I can not believe you haven't shaved in a month and a half. I'm actually a bit furious. ;) I shave 365/365.

yonca said...

I'm another one who shaves everyday:)

mama-face said...

Awesome post. I used to be a "had to have make up on" kind of gal...but you get older and you really don't give a shiz anymore. I doubted it myself; but it is sadly true.

I am craving a pedicure. And I don't even have a new bloke to show them to...just my old bloke whom I've had for years. :)

Brian Miller said...

i gave up shaving a while ago...and make up. lol. but we (guys) love when you get all dressed up. smiles.

McGillicutty said...

No I am not kidding.. tomorrow I will take a picture before i cave n shave!
I can practically shave only on high days and holidays!!! woot woot... jealous aren't ya???

tattytiara said...

You know I actually go to more trouble to keep my toes pretty in the winter than in the summer, because if I neglect them in the winter it's a reminder that nobody but me and my boyfriend are going to see them for a long time, and my delicate psyche just can't handle that reality.

mommydrinksbecauseyoucry said...

Make friends with a waxing. It saves SOOOOO much time!

rxBambi said...

I haven't had a pedi since before christmas and I'm going thru withdrawls.

you haven't shaved since christmas? You SUCK! I've had my legs lasered and they actually look good and I only shave occasionally, but I know I've shaved several times since christmas.

how on earth can we be twinkies? We must be like yin and yang twinkies.
I'm the girl tho. :)