I love my friends.... yes I do! They're a diverse bunch and every one of them has something
to teach me. I'm like a sponge waiting to absorb the details of the lives of other people. I have had
quite a colorful life myself and met many random people, still, nothing ceases to amaze me. I am quite
sure there is no such thing as "normal", this life offers such an abundance of variables that there cannot
possibly be a mainstream..... otherwise we'd all come from some kind of conveyor belt and we'd be
practically cloned and have "Made in Boring" stamped on the backs of our necks.
Now just to bring you up to speed on my background a little, believe me it will help in the recounting
of this hilarious conversation I was involved in the other day.
I grew up in a really rural area, didn't know that until I Google Earthed it the other day and realized
that there were only about twelve streets in the whole village!! We lived a stones throw from a
dairy farm and had a lot of experience with cow patties and calves, who smelled good, as
well as a horse or two. There were fields close by where they grew wheat (we used to call it
the corn field but I realize now, that was incorrect) we earned extra money picking
strawberries and potatoes so it's safe to say I wasn't a city slicker.
So moving on to my teenage years, we moved to a bigger town where they brew a lot of
beer!!! yay for the monks!!! Then at the ripe old age of 19 I moved again to another rural
community in the South of England, this time to another small village surrounded by fields and
farms and men considered strong in the arm and thick in the head. By now you'd think
I may have picked up a thing or two about agriculture and animals. Not so...
Fast forward to present day, here in South GA is where my education in all things farming
is coming to it's fruition and I seem to be graduating with honors.
A very good friend of mine lives on a farm, yes a real live farm. They have cows and
goats and chickens and of course horses. This friend loves that I have become totally citified in the past
few years and hence I ask some stupid questions about all things country.
Whenever there's a conversation taking place between three
or more ladies it will inevitably turn to the size of the male gentalia... yes it does... you know it..
we love to talk about it. Well this particular occasion was just that...something about
Farm girl's Grandaddy and his initials being LD.... that's right... LD.
Then it went to her knowing a man who knew a man who would do "parlor tricks" with his
long dick and overalls... he would take it out of the side of the overalls and stick it
in his back pocket and show all the kids on the farm!!! Nice trick if you can do it!!!
I was about to choke on that one... as was his wife I'm sure!! and why in the hell
is it called a "parlor trick"???? Is that the kind of thing you do to amuse the family of
an evening in the parlor before TV was invented????
The conversation then ever so smoothly moved on to how one gets a horse to cum.. yes...
I said it... apparently when you send your rural kids off to UGA to study Animal Science, this
is the kind of thing they will be asked to do. It takes more than one person (course it does), one
holds the horse and runs it up and down "teasing" the poor stud in front of a couple of
good lookin' mares. The other person is there to catch the semen... OMG.. yes they catch
it as the horse gets over excited... and this is where I really did pee my pants.... apparently
horses have an unbelievably ugly "O" face... their lips curl up and their eyes roll in their
heads and they look like crazy, mad, caught up in the moment... MEN!!!!
I laughed so much at the description and impression that I totally forgot to ask whether they
roll over and smoke a cigarette!!!!
Another life lesson under my belt, and I'm happy to report I am ready for the next!!!