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Monday, October 5, 2009

Ode to the effin' Ef word.... not for the faint hearted...

For those of you who don't already know, I am British, we Brits love to use the Ef word... we say it all day everyday, we say it out loud, under our breath, in our heads, quietly to friends, we scream it at moments of great joy and we sometimes throw it in there just for fuckin' effect, alright?

People in general, although they've heard it, will pretend to be shocked by a female using the F word, unless of course you're British or a comedienne.... then you can say it as much as you like and immediately you're forgiven.  It sounds so lovely coming from a nice polite British girl such as Liz Hurley or that lovely young lady whatshername who's shagging Prince William... I bet she says it all the fuckin' time. So this post is dedicated to those people... the ones who can drop an F bomb in polite company and then smile sweetly and win the adoration of all around her.

Here's the deal, I got a card today from RxBambi..... and I said to myself "what the fuck, that is precious, I love my friend Bambi".

There's a weird weather phenomenon in the fall here in South GA, it's hot one minute and cold the next, these drastic swings cause many Southern Belles to say "This fucking sweater has got to go, someone get me a tank top and a frozen margarita!"

Teenagers are so fuckin' annoying...can't they just go from 14 to say 25 without all the fuckin' drama in the middle... who needs that shit, they don't, we don't, and certainly the world at large can do without it. You're insignificant until you prove yourself, and you're not going to do that until your about 30 so deal with it.

People turning any kind of multiple of ten, yes that includes me, need to shut the fuck up. Who gives a flying fuck if you've made it another ten years????? You may be 30 and think you're still hot and shagworthy but you won't be for long. You "made it" to 40 and you have little kids and think people care what you have to say...ummm... no they don't unless you throw the F bomb in there and you've had some plastic surgery. If you're fifty and still fuckable then you're doing great but no one wants to hear what you have to say, Heather Locklear!!!!

So to sum it all up, you can use the effing Ef word as often and in whatever context you like, it's still funny!! Pick up any Bestseller these days and it's peppered with fuck me, fuck that, fuckin' moron, what the fuck: it's still a great read though, right?  Go see a movie that's rated more than a PG13 and there is guaranteed a little bit of fuckin' A in there and if you can get a kid to say it its even more hilarious to the audience. So why? Who  first said it and where did it come from? My Mum who was a pretty big "fuck" woman in her day used to say it was Anglo Saxon and therefore quite acceptable. I can honestly say I have never googled it... maybe I should... but for now I'll just say what the fuck and hope you enjoyed this post.... hee hee.


Fidgeting Gidget said...

This post is awesome.

I went from being an elementary school teacher to working in a manufacturing plant....therefore, the F word is my new best friend.

My boss's favorite saying: What-the-fuck-ever.

My favorites: Fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck and too fucking bad.

My husband's favorite factory saying: (he works there, too) and I quote, "Fuck. Fuck the fucking fuckers. Fuck."

Have a pleasant fucking day.

rxBambi said...

I fucking love you! I'm fucking glad you liked the fucking card. I can't believe you didn't say anything about fuckadoodledoo or , wait, what the fuck was the other one? I always liked fanfuckingtastic. Fuck. I can't even fucking think straight. I think I fucking need another fucking glass of fucking wine. You fucking know what I fucking mean?

Lisa Michelle said...

Gidge you crack me up!

I love Who gives a flying fuck and Fuck a Duck ( that would EVER happen)!

Absofuckinglutely. The Eff word and I are like super tight. We have a great relationship. Fucking Fuckers. The best movie for F-bombs is American Pie movies. Totally fucking rock on!

Ok. I have to tell you where you can get ketchup potato chips huh??? Well I am sending some to OP and Dawn...I suppose I could send you some too...Do you guys have Old Dutch chips down there? They have the best ketchup potato chips..lemme know.

otin said...

If you ever lived anywhere near northeast NJ, you would not even consider the word fuck as a curse. It is just an everyday word. A typical Jersey sentence: "That motherfucker cut me the fuck off. I was going fucking 50 and that fuck just fuckin pulled out in front of me and just about fuckin hit me, the dumb fuck! LMAO!

McGillicutty said...

Hilarious!!!!!!!!! This really made me laugh this morning although, don't have a fuckin' sitter!
Otin...that's why I loved watching the Sopranos!!!!!

Flying Fucks...what exactly is that?

HAHAHAHAHA I'll be giggling all day now... thanks peeps!!!!

Liz said...

Mmmn - Have you been listening in to my conversations... well, fuck me!!! lol.........

marinik said...

WAAAAHaahahahah.... boy did i need this fuckin laugh or what... you made my eve doll. and i use the fuck out of that word and say in a brit accent at time too... it does sound rather dashing :))) hehehe
love ya and love bambi too

jgy said...

Can I really say this...fucking good post!
Thanks for your candor and splendid use of words.
Have a... well, you know, good day!

Jodi said...

Oh My, I think I just pee'd a little I'm laughing so hard. That was a great post and great comments. I say all the things above and my sister says I use the word so often my name should be Jodi fuckin Phinney.!!! Thanks for the morning cheer!

Anonymous said...

what kind of a fucking blog post is this, jesus christ!

beth said...

this is the best post I have read on any blog in a long long time !
i love honesty from a person and I love saying and using the word fuck whenever I can !!

McGillicutty said...

I really honestly think i fuckin' outdid myself this time...I have laughed and laughed at all the comments... thanks to YOU guys for making ME laugh!!!!!

Popey said...

Now I used to know Mid Life Mama back in England before she became a Mama and way before she hit the big 40 (Still looking good)! I can honestly say she used to drop one (the F bomb I mean) on a regular basis, especially when describing fucking imbecile policyholders!

I imagine the F word went through her head when two idiots turned up to her wedding in kilts (who were those effing morons - oh yeah, me!)

I am a bit disappointed "abso-fucking-lutely" didnt get a mention - such a fine proclamation!!

I was always told that the word FUCK was originally an acronym used in the british courts for "Felonous Use of Carnal Knowledge" - sounds like a crock of shite to me!!!

The only time I tend to use the F word these days is when "High School Musical" finds its way onto the DVD player, as in "not a-fucking-gain" (never in front of the children).

The funniest use of the F word I have heard recently was when my three year old shouted in the middle of Tesco's (ask MAM) "Harriet (aged2) wont hold my fucking hand!" - priceless but oh so embarassing!!

Rebecca said...

OMG! This word is so commonly used today. However, I am sticking to my Southern-bellish, hypocritical ways & saying this is a CRUDE CRUDE word! =) LOL!!!!!!