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Friday, July 31, 2009

WTF Friday and ARWP all in one morning!

Today started out like any other, hubby woke me with about fifteen freakin' alarms that get louder the longer you ignore them! OK well didn't want to sleep any more anyway you freakin' MORNING PERSON YOU!!! (note to self, next time when selecting a life partner make sure he's not a morning person).

I crawled out of bed and started a little housework small apartment work, did some dishes, laundry, pick up that kind of thing. Showered, decided to nix hair removal 'til tomorrow, it can wait 'til I have time to change the line on the weedwacker. Went to local (45 second commute) grocery store for essentials like milk, bread, wine… then left for work…30 second commute.

That's when it all went right down freakin' hill…..yes…. WTF … is it Send a Moron to Ali day? Did I miss that announcement in the local paper that said "if you are a little annoying, irritating, downright assholey or just plain fokked up, please visit McGilly on Friday morning and give her your best shot"………"she's waiting!".

Since when in the world do I work in an attorney's office??? First annoying human being walks in this morning and showed me a letter from his landlord regarding a leak that needs to be fixed, then proceeds to tell me no one listens to him and he needs an attorney. OK… I said… go get one… we don't have any here!!!! To which he replies…do you have time for a cock & bull story, Miss? No, I said, and he left… hahaha.

Enter stage right, champion bull shitter and most exasperating little tick on the ass of humanity I have ever laid eyes on. This one starts to tell me a story of she said do this, and then this happened and he said da de da…. And blah blah blah… … you follow? No neither did I? So I asked wtf are you sqeakin'
about I'm sorry you'd like me to do what now? To which he replied…. Miss if you'll just follow my instructions we'll get along just fine!!!!!! You What????? How dare you talk to me like that you condescending little bastard with Spudballoo glasses on!!!!! I kept my cool and followed his instructions knowing that they were complete nonsense and in doing so would probably never complete what he was trying to accomplish. But hey, what do I know??????? Then he launched into one of his elaborate stories, telling me he's going to Australia for nine days… yes people nine days… and no it won't take him long because he flies direct to Australia, nonstop... that's how he rolls… ummmm I think to myself.. you must have freakin' wings you little asshole 'cos there are no jets that I know of that can get from the South Eastern United States to Australia without stopping for FUEL.. yes… that tiny detail that you might just want if you're flying at 35,000 feet above sea level!!!!! Ok this was where I started to calm down and realize that this little fuck is so full of shit he's delusional and should be pitied……until he starts talking about his travels around Europe and how his parents were Swiss and German… and guess what? And I quote "I'm a mix of both my mother and my father!"….unfreakin'quote!!!!!!!! At that point I had to let him know where the door was… you have a good day now you ridiculous, insignificant little fibber you.

OK bloggers… I feel much better now… thank you for your time!!!!!

p.s. the pic at the top is of the red rash that appears sometimes when dealing with incompetent fools!


Lindsay said...

Oh my gosh! That brought back memories of good ole' BOA days!! hahaha!!! Sounds like a fabulous day for you! :-)

Snap said...

LOL! Ah, I do love retirement! :D

McGillicutty said...

Lins..yes there are days when you realize if you're dealing with the public this is gonna happen!

Snap.. you're not retired... you're still very busy just not getting a convetional paycheck! thx for commenting.

Liz said...

Well you made me laugh.... what exactly is your job then???

Liz x

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