You ever get one of those days when you're just... well irritated???
It's no one specific thing that's got my goat, just a general irritation that's festering
under the surface ready to ravage some poor unsuspecting do-gooder.
I have been listening to Cosmo Radio for a long time now, in particular I love the
Wake Up with Taylor show, a while back I had a little obsession with it but
I'm over that now. Back in the real world. Anyhoo.. I was listening today and they
mentioned something about the peeps on their FB page, so I thought I'd pull up the
page and check it out. I can't freakin' find it!!!! I know I had "liked" it at one point
and although I haven't looked at it in forever it has to be there somewhere!!!
How freakin' irritating is that??? I poked around a lot and couldn't see anywhere to find
the stuff that I "like" rather than actual friends... where the Eff is that stuff????
This kinda thing really pisses me off... I'm like a crazed freak trying to find that stupid page!
Someone help me!!! I'm starting to get all paranoid thinking they blocked me for my
stalkerish behavior!! .. ????
Secondly, while poking around FB looking for the Wake Up page I was distracted by
photo albums of friends... I like to see what they're posting.. how the kids are
growing.. where they've been all that shit... and now I'm getting all fired up again!!
Where are all my FAMILY pics??? Nowhere.. that's where... we don't have any..
no family pics involving the four of us. No... well there's one taken about
three years ago at a wedding which sucks.... prior to that there's one that
my good friend who's a pro photog took FIVE ..read it.. FIVE YEARS AGO!!!
There aren't even that many of the girls actually with either one of us parents.. in fact there are
practically none of me in recent years. I can't stand having my pic taken any more.
I was on one friends page and there were pics of the four of them on trips and at Christmas
and at home and blah de blah blah.... All the while I'm smiling thinking .. awww
what a sweet family they are... then my smile fades as I get in a little frenzy thinking
we're a sweet family we should have pics of the four of us plastered all over the net.
I won't let anyone else use my big girl camera but I do have two other perfectly above
average camera's that they can use... but who is "they".. when are we with someone
else who can take a picture? urgh... I allowed an old guy take a pic of the four of us when
we were in Tennessee but I hated the picture! I looked like a full term pregnant
hefalump and the kids were making weird faces!!!! It wasn't like I could take time
to pose us all and make sure we were all in the correct light and have him take three
hundred shots to get the perfect ONE.... not to mention it was the middle of a three
thousand degree day and sweat abounded. I get all agitated when I ask hubs to take
one of me and the girls... I can't relax... I feel like firstly I'm bothering him to take
the pictures... and secondly it's so posed, stiff and awkward.
I feel every one of those extra ten pounds the camera is adding not to mention every
one of the thirty pounds I've gained in the last few years...sigh.. irritated effin' sigh!!
To add to the irritation today, I have a hair appointment booked after work.
I'm going to go in there thinking that she's going to change my life and come out all
pissed that I'm still the same old me but with shorter hair, there will be no miracles on
54th street or extreme makeovers, just a trim that may look good until I have to "fix" it
in the morning by which time it will have morphed into something like Mickey Dolenz.
The morning grapple with the do and trying to get the kids do's done is enough to send
me over the edge. No wonder I'm constantly irritated!!! One day I'll be all
glamorous and I'll wake up to breakfast cooked by a house keeper, my bath drawn and then a
little pampering by my personal stylist before I leave for the morning school run, I'll drop the
kids off with a cheery smile and a wave; I'll move on about my business with the light
and breezy disposition of a lady who's catered to. Sigh... one can dream!!!!