I realized yesterday that we have reached a milestone in our household.
We have moved into another phase of our family life, we're totally done with the
infant and toddler stage... the preschool stage is a recent memory but
it is behind us all the same.
We are about to embark on unknown territory, Syd has three weeks of fourth grade
left before she officially becomes a rising middleschooler.
In three short, hot, fun-packed months we'll be dropping her off at the Middle
School and she'll be in a totally new phase of her life. As will I (and of course Dad).
Ash will be heading into second grade, she's no longer reliant on me for the
little things like washing her hair (she still likes me to brush it), or dressing her in
the mornings or even helping her to read a book.
We took them out to eat yesterday lunchtime, it was quite a drive to the restaurant we had
chosen and they had books in the car. There was no whining, no drama, no screaming
or fisticuffs in the back seat. WTF??????
When we arrived at the restaurant we sat at the table and they busied
themselves with the kids menu's and the crayons.
His gorgeousness and I didn't have to help with the word search or games, there
were no outbursts of frustration or interruptions; we, the McK family had a
lovely lunch in a restaurant and didn't have to suffer the "looks" from childless people
surrounding us. And then it hit me.
They are not babies any more. We are a family of two adults and two children.
Not little kids but growing girls who can read and write, ride bikes, help
themselves to snacks and drinks, help around the house and do the dishes or the
laundry when I beg them to. They are intelligent and have, from what I can see, a good
grasp of what's right and wrong and they know how to be kind to others.
As I was processing all this I mentioned to his gorgeousness that the hard
part is over, then Ashley held up her kids menu and she had drawn a picture on the
back of four people, two kids and two adults, at the top she wrote
"I love my family"
And then I lost my mind. How could it be that we're doing so well raising
these girls when it seems like we suck at everything else. Our lives seem in chaos most
of the time and I'm a grumpy old biotch!!! I forget appointments, I'm late with
projects, I shout at the girls when I'm pissed (at myself) and I still haven't
taken care of that damn root canal I was supposed to have three months ago.
Apparently none of that matters to them, so maybe I need to lighten up and let it go.
I'm not sure that I'm ready for this next phase of motherhood, I still don't feel like
I mastered the baby stuff very well, but hey... it's behind me so I can let it go!!!
I am so in love with those girls and so thankful for what we have as a
family, and I have a lovely husband who stands by me when my mind is lost, what more
could a mid life mama ask for????
A day off maybe... well Mother's day is next week.. maybe they'll send me to a spa
to find my mind again... hint hint.