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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Salsa... not the dance...

I wonder if I'm pregnant again?
They would be mighty diligent sperm to get through the 
bullet proof pj's and into the "female anatomy" and then past 
the tubes that are tied in a running bowline figure of eight with
two half hitches.

Um yeah, we can prolly discount the possibility of a pregnancy at 
this stage of the game. 
Then what? 
What on God's green earth is causing my irrational cravings
for salsa and olives? 
I can't get enough of them, I tried some Paul Newman's Mango 
Salsa the other day...OMG that shit it AWESOME!!! 
It was gone in a day... a day I tell ya. Then there's the 
little green olives stuffed with all kind of goodies, garlic, 
pimentos, more olives, deliciouso!!!! 
Add to these little snacks the Greenwise Tortilla chips 
from Publix and you have a totally winning combination.
A little wine and it's enough to sustain even the hardest of hardened
bloggers... i could literally sit here for months on end with just
me, my net book, the salsa and the chips and the wine. 

So what is it? Do I have some kind of Mexican/Mediterranean
tape worm that has preferences for these things? 
Is my body secretly wishing I were in the throws of building another
baby? Is it my biological clock reminding me that procreation is a
thing of the past for me? 

I was in close proximity of a nursing mother the other day and 
guess what? My boobs positively tingled... nay...vibrated in a manner
akin to a jack hammer, screaming out 
for a baby to latch on and be nourished!!! 
TMI??? sorry.

Then again the real reason could be that I'm turning into my mother.
His gorgeousness is in denial about this, at least he appeared to 
be when I broached the subject the other day, well I'm 
assuming that running around the house like is 2 mm hair was on 
fire, screaming "for the love of God Noooo!!!" is his form of denial. 
I digress.

I have fond memories of good ole Mumsie eating the absolutely
weirdest crap known to man, while settling in for the night 
in front of the telly. Nibbles anyone? she'd say, then proceed to 
demolish a jar of cockles and mussels alive alive oh!!! 
They weren't alive, that's just how the song goes.
She'd eat cod roe (poor man's caviar), and Rivita covered
in all kinds of disgusting cheeses. She's describe to me how she
enjoyed the escargot during a night out at a fancy restaurant and she
would dip her bread in the garlic butter they were served in. 
Sounded horrible then, super scrummy now. 
Frogs legs, tripe, haggis and oysters...nothing got past that 
woman, the only thing she doesn't really care for is salmon! 
Now ain't that strange? considering she can cook the most delicious,
tender melt in your mouth salmon you've ever tasted.

p.s. I don't really mind turning into my Mum, yep she's had her 
"issues" but all in all she's not a bad old broad. 


Little Ms Blogger said...

I remember having insane cravings for green olives in college -- I ate an entire jar, got sick and that ended my craving for green olives.

Don't get me wrong, still love them, especially in a martini. However, you won't see me consuming them by the jar anytime soon.

Brian Miller said...

at least you are craving some good both of them hope i dont turn into my mom. smiles.

Char said...

LOL you cracked me up - so visual.

love the olives and i will have to look that salsa up. i just love publix.

likeschocolate said...

I have been craving salsa too and red vines go figure, but I am also not pregnant.

spudballoo said...

erm, are you sure you're not pregnant? Remember I managed to get pregnant whilst breast feeding and not having periods (gah).

It made me smile and feel tearful reading about your mum's funny habits. I only 'know' her now, with all her problems. It's very sobering to have her 'old self' right up front like this. Life is very cruel isn't it.