Happy July 3/4 People.....

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OK as a Brit in the USA it's kinda funny for me to be "celebrating" their Independence from the mother/father country right? (someone still needs to help me with the mother/father thing). Anyhooo, I do, every July we "get together" and cook out, watch fireworks, drink beer (wine for me) and generally languish in all that's American. All this is done with great cheer and happiness wishing everyone "Happy 4th", "Have a good 4th", "Be safe on the 4th now" and not a mention of the Declaration of Independence, how the country is free from those evil Brits or anything of the history that this day commemorates.

Until I make an appearance, that is. Not so much now because I have been here a long time and have managed to chameleon myself into the landscape, so to speak. I have perfected (kinda) the Southern drawl of native Georgians, I can cook grits and make something that passes pretty well for sweet tea. But in the early days of this ex-pat's new life in the colonies I was constantly being reminded that "we won the war" and "we didn't want your shit" and "now we're on our own...." OK ... don't really give a crap buddy so pass the wine and shut it. I never did study American History in school... why would I? And it was all over 200 years ago so guess what, I didn't have anything to do with "The British are coming".... and every time this subject comes up I really have nothing, nada, zippidy to say. I feel nothing, have no interest and don't give a shittidy doo dah.

A selection things that I have been asked by Americans:

"Do you celebrate July 4th (they rarely call it Independence Day) in England..... no we don't.... why would we, it's not our holiday to celebrate. Budweiser has managed to get it into the pubs and clubs... as a money maker off the backs of Brits who like tasteless beer, but other than that it's not a deal in the UK.

"Did you ever meet Princess Diana, such a shame"... no I didn't, her and I just didn't run in the same circles though we probably should have, both being British and blond and all.

"How old were you when you learned to speak English"... um I was really, really young which is what makes me so fluent in that language now.

"How long does it take for you to drive to the States from England"....well it's a very, very long way and there's that small matter of the Atlantic Ocean to navigate so I found it easier to hop on a plane and fly for eight or nine hours, besides, at that time there was no GPS in cars.

Please don't misunderstand me, I love it here and wouldn't change it for the world, unless of course I win the Lotto and could then afford a home on both sides of the pond, and one in Australia..... I like to be questioned about my homeland and culture, keeps me on my toes. The only thing is, when you try to explain what a country is "like" it's hard because most of all it's the feeling you get when you're there that matters. It's hard to put those feelings into words sometimes, especially when put on the spot. The whole atmosphere is different in place to place, the smells, the sounds, the sights... it all goes into what makes one location different from another. I can't get into the difference in the people it's just too vast as one would expect and it's not fair to generalize, there are people in all walks of life, in many different places who you'll love, or not.

So dear heart, enjoy the celebrations for Independence Day, America is happy to be independent, the Brits are happy you're independent, I am happy to live here and still be able to go home sometimes.....life is good.... now where did I put my Green Card???

The confusion of being an Ex-pat....

I have been thinking of sharing some of these things for a while now...... I have lived in the States for almost 12 years and it feels more or less like home, but when you relocate at the tender age of 28, your roots are firmly set in the world in which you grew up. Everything you have ever learned to do and say is distinctly British (in my case). Although they speak a type of English in America it's a type of English foreign to anyone not raised here or by American parents. There is still much to learn and I have been through some sticky situations in my journey here.

Mail ... and Steve loves this one.... I would always place my mail in the Express mail box, why would anyone choose the other box? You want it to get it there quickly right, how was I to know you had to pay extra for the Express part of it???? We didn't have such a thing back home so it made sense to put the mail in the fasted box available.

Driving... this is an obvious one isn't it, we need to learn to drive on the other side of the road when we come here. I thought I did a great job other than trying to shift with my left hand all the time. Occasionally (and it STILL happens) I will get into the passenger seat, it's just downright embarrassing when I do this while travelling by myself. I once got into the back seat at a gas station!! What was I expecting?? my chauffeur to get in and drive for me? I had to look around and slide out of the back into the drivers seat, didn't think quickly enough to cover myself by making it look like I was hunting something in the back seat.

Food and Restaurants....OK this is an ongoing source of amusement to me and to those with me when it's meal time. Firstly, restaurants, in England you get what you get and the menu is pretty simple, don't expect choices. Here you get a million offerings but you should already know what you want. God forbid you ask what dressings they have, the waiter will quickly rattle off a thousand choices really quickly and leave you with your head spinning and forcing you to mumble... I'll have whatever you're having!!! I like to try new stuff and it's amazing when people take for granted the stuff they have grown up with, they are incredulous that I have never tried all the several thousand different types of beans and peas available in S. GA. Or that I have only recently become fairly fond of Grits. Of course then there's the whole language thing... rutabagas... well that's just plane old turnips to me.

Telemarketers.... OK this is one I quickly got to grips with, that is, after I had changed phone companies a thousand times when I first got here. I had been used to good old British Telecom and at that time there were no other phone companies and no one back home would ever call and "switch" you after a phone conversation. Poor old Steve couldn't keep up!!! Now I don't talk to telemarketers at all and advise everyone to do the same thing.

Money... this is also kind of ongoing and I don't know why I have such a block about it. The coins in this country are the opposite to the ones in England and we don't have names of them like you do. Our 5p piece is smaller than the 10p but the dime is bigger than the nickel?? why???? so it often gets confusing and it's not right on the tip of my tongue what these coins are called. I often like to call paper money notes instead of bills too. It's just part of me.

So if you're living in a foreign country and are having similar problems, please let me know... I love the crazyness.